Sunday, April 28, 2013

Some Thoughts...

My heart has been heavy the last few weeks, and my mind feels like it is spinning in a hundred different directions.  I'm not sure yet what the purpose of this blog post will be, or what I will say.  My intent to write it is to use the therapeutic technique of free writing, and just write what comes to mind.  So, here I go...

I remember the first national tragedy that occurred in my lifetime.  It was April 19, 1995, and I was 11 years old.  The Federal Building in Oklahoma City had been blown up by a crazy man, who parked a truck full of fertilizer in front of it and blew it up.  I remember the talk on the news of all the children in the daycare.  My heart ached.  My mind raced.  I feared for my safety, and the safety of my family.  Things like this were not supposed to happen in my lifetime.  Babies were not supposed to die like that.  Mom's and Dad's were supposed to return home from work.  I slept in my mom's room for a long time after that, because I was so afraid that a bad guy was going to blow up our neighborhood in Lacey, WA.

Fast forward 4 years.  April 20, 1999.  I was laying at the pool in Florida, drinking a virgin Pina Colada.  I remember seeing the news as I walked through the hotel lobby.  2 students had taken guns into Columbine High School, in Littleton, Colorado. They had killed lots of kids, teachers, and themselves.  I was a high schooler...I empathized, and put myself in that situation.  It scared me.  School no longer seemed like a safe place anymore.  How could someone do this?  How could there be so much hate in the world?

September 11, 2001.  I walked on to the University of Arkansas campus early that morning, to check my email.  I noticed a crowd of students pouring out of RZ's coffee shop, watching TV.  I squeezed into the crowd to see what was going on.  Just as I caught a glimpse of the TV set, the second plane crashed into the World Trade Center.  My view of our country...of our world...was forever changed.  My heart was burdened with a heaviness that would never go away.  The memories of what happened that day are always close to my heart, and the same reason I tear up every time I hear or sing the national anthem, see a flag at half staff, or hear the song God Bless America.

September 11th was obviously the largest tragedy our country has ever seen...at least in my lifetime.  Since then, though, we have witnessed the untimely deaths of those in shopping malls, movie theaters, and schools.  We have seen the adversary overcome people and fill them with so much hate that they choose to take the lives of children, parents, grandparents, teachers, police officers...all who are Heavenly Father's Children.

The Boston Marathon Bombing left my heart with the same heaviness that I have felt during all of the other tragedy's I have seen in my lifetime.  I almost feel a sense of resignation that the world is being filled with hate, and with evil, and that Satan is really buckling down, trying to win this war.  I know, however, that he will not win.  Light shines through at every tragedy.  There are helpers everywhere.  There are people willing to sacrifice their lives to save another.  There are people giving blood.  There are people donating money.  There are thousands on their knees offering up prayer, and fasting, in a time of need.  I am reminded that good DOES always prevail, and that Heavenly Father's children are so strong. 

Like I said in the beginning of this post...I don't know where I am going with it.  I just needed to process those thoughts. 

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